Theatrical Review of Dragon Wars

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There are certain types of movies you don´t expect much from. Summer blockbusters, for example. The "Transformers" or "Spider-Man 3" which doubles as gorgeous eye candy and entertaining, thoughtful fare are rare. Certainly nothing this summer was a critical and commercial success. The last of those movies that easily comes to mind is "Spider-Man 2." Perhaps, then, it´s a sign of where we are as a movie-going community when a film like "Dragon Wars" hits in the post-Labor Day September release schedule. As most people in the industry will tell you, studios release their Oscar hopefuls in the fall and winter. This film is under no pretension it deserves any kind of award, yet feels a bit more complex than the normal summer tent poles.

The story of "Dragon Wars" starts in 1507 with a legend. Every 500 years, two human beings have the chance to save the world from a terrible fate at the hands of dragons. The evil creatures must be vanquished by the good ones, as most legends go. One male should protect one female on the eve of her 20th birthday so she can be sacrificed…or something like that. In 1507, the young lovers plunge to their deaths instead of fulfilling the prophecy. They are later reincarnated, allowing Ethan and Sarah in 2007 to take their place in history as dragons terrorize Los Angeles.

Alright, this isn´t high art…hell, this isn´t even on the level of "Spider-Man 3" (a major disappointment). It´s Sci Fi Channel fodder thrown onto the big screen with a good sized budget. Admittedly, the dragons look better than anything that cable network´s budget would allow, but would it have killed the producers to spend some of that money on acting or a real screenplay? Probably not, yet both are the problems behind the film.

Honestly, saying the script and acting are the downfalls of a movie called "Dragon Wars" is an issue in and of itself. We´re not supposed to worry about either of those things, only how many times we see giant lizards slithering up buildings and attacking military vehicles. The fact Jason Behr as "reporter" Ethan and Amanda Brooks as Sarah are supposed to be the human leads, yet look like they know how craptastic the script is, doesn´t come off as fun or cheeky. It´s sad any reputable actors would put themselves in the position of headlining this movie. Neither brings anything relevant to their parts aside from lots of screaming and running and pouting. At least both are mildly attractive or this would have been a very tedious 100 minutes or so.

"Dragon Wars" tries to build to a climactic battle in Los Angeles between the dragons (referred to as snakes through most of the film) and humans though we know this isn´t the endgame anyone is playing for. Sarah has to sacrifice herself at something called the Great Cave-or something similarly ludicrously named-to call forth the good dragon, who will in turn defeat the evil dragon. The extended fight sequence in downtown and then another in front of green screens (think "300") becomes sensory overload to the detriment of the actual plot. We just see dragons vaguely looking evil battling a dragon vaguely resembling "good" and then some kind of light source from Sarah and a whole bunch of gobbledygook we´re supposed to swallow. Ethan´s suddenly a swordsman, for example. Perhaps the worst thing to happen on screen in the last half hour is the Great Cave what sit.

With spires and windows, a massive door, altar and an ominously dark sky, it looks like a leftover design from one of the "Lord of the Rings" movies. There´s a Mount Doom meets Minas Tirith vibe to it, at once refreshingly different from normal "caves" and confoundingly familiar.

I guess we should get back to the human characters, at least for a minute. When the threat of the dragons is still in debate, there are amusing moments featuring a zoo keeper trying to convince those around him a giant dragon is outside a window, for example. And there´s a cop who believes the Korean legend about dragons enough to try and take matters into his own hands.

It´s all too calculated, though, for the storyline to make much sense. Characters pop up for no apparent reason, spouting some relevant information, only to disappear mere moments later. Jack, the evil bad guy who looks suspiciously like Dennis Hopper, changes shape from-I think-a snake to various other people while passing through doors and walls with no problems. (An amusing gag has an old woman see Jack pass through a fence door and try it herself, bopping her head in the process.)

I don´t buy Behr as a reporter, either. To be taken seriously, a professional in any line of work has to look the part. He´s a scruffy long haired surfer wannabe with his shirt open seemingly halfway down his chest and an obsession with one story-Sarah. And that obsession is based on a piece of snake scale he saw as a young boy which he also conveniently sees at the initial attack scene. Again, it´s all too coincidental with the facts popping into place for no good reason other than to move the plot forward.

Let´s go back to the effects for one more moment. They are rather spectacular, considering "Dragon Wars" will be on DVD before any of us can blink. There are plenty of shots of the titular characters doing what they do best: killing, terrifying and eating. Though there is a suspicious lack of blood in the film, considering how many living things bite the dust. If you´re going to go for it-which this movie obviously is-go all the way. Lay it all out there. Take no prisoners. "Dragon Wars" tends to wimp out in that respect. Otherwise, this is a movie tailor made for DVD, not a theatrical run. Something we can pop in on a Saturday night, fast forward to the battle in downtown LA and enjoy. The actual story is superfluous, to say the least.

"Dragon Wars" gets most of its 4 out of 10 score based on the computer generated battle sequences. The ending is too obvious to be shocking and the rest of the dragon legend acts like its revolutionary storytelling. Hardly. It can´t even be called good storytelling. "Reign of Fire" features better effects, acting and storyline. Heck, even "Dragonheart" featuring Dennis Quaid and Sean Connery. Compared to either of those films, this one should go the way of the dragons: back into the dusty legends from which it came.

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