Theatrical Review of Feast of Love

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If there was ever a movie the wonderfully understated Morgan Freeman couldn´t save, it´s "Feast of Love," a monotonous, overlong, preachy, misguided, disjointed and time wasting joke of a film. Based on a novel by Charles Baxter (screenplay by Allison Burnett, also the mastermind behind "Autumn in New York"), "Feast of Love" has the grand ambition of examining different types of relationships: Bradley and his lesbian/bisexual ex-wife Kathryn; his marriage to realter Diana; her infidelity with another married man, David; the burgeoning love of Bradley´s coffee house employees Oscar and Chloe; and Bradley´s professor, Harry, and his wife Esther.

A story with zig-zags through time periods and lives is more suited to a novel than a feature film. Quite simply-and this is universally true-a novel can expand on relationships and characters in ways no movie could ever hope to. That´s the biggest problem in "Feast of Love": there are so many people with emotional baggage and unresolved issues at the end of the film, we end up feeing like too much was cut out of the finished product. There has to be more to the Kathryn and Jenny storyline than the two dropping off the face of the earth. Ditto for David and Diana. The first question which pops into my head is how does Bradley become friends with both his ex wives? The second question is why does he control Kathryn during their marriage, yet appears to give up any sort of control with Diana?

And why is it in every single movie he´s in, Freeman plays an all-knowing, nearly deity-like creature dispensing fortune cookie new age hokum advice? If the guy is actually playing a supreme being, so be it. But here he does what comes naturally to the detriment of the story. In voiceover, he narrates parts of the film, telling us in short order what has happened in the intervening time period as if this is Harry´s story to tell. It´s not. Actually, aside from a minor subplot where he comes to grips with his son´s death, there´s not much for the character to do.

Aside from dispensing coffee house advice, of course. He tells Chloe to marry Oscar immediately and to have at least two children even quicker. All fine and dandy, but he doesn´t know Oscar´s fate, at least according to a palm reader. While Chloe is at fault for not sharing the information (not that it would have made much of a difference, I suspect), he´s similarly on the line for helping to break her heart even more.

He tells Bradley the house he moves into with Diana is cursed. Sure enough, the two are divorced shortly after the marriage is official. Would it be that hard for him to just keep his mouth shut and stop dispensing any sort of advice to everyone who walks in? Sure, some of them ask for his views, and even that choice is dubious at best. Appearances can be deceiving and all everyone knows is Esther and Harry have a model marriage. And they do, for the most part.

Relationship movies like last year´s "The Last Kiss" and "The Break-Up" succeed (relatively speaking, of course) because each brings a different perspective to the coupling. There´s nothing like that here. For instance, what is it in Bradley´s make-up which makes him answer for Kathryn and see right through her? It would be a far more engrossing story to understand the mentality of a person like that-and what made him change between romantic interests.

As for Chloe and Oscar, it´s a typical young people in love story. Alexa Davalos and Toby Hemingway are serviceable enough in their subplot and manage to be the most compelling characters on screen. They have a desperateness, a "learning the ropes" quality to them…people who aren´t world-weary and know-it-alls at a young age. These two are the only reason to watch "Feast of Love" despite an unneeded tangent with Oscar´s father ("The Bat") being abusive and sleazy.

If the story is designed to be a meditation of love and relationships, it fails completely. With so many people dropping in and out of the story ostensibly to showcase different types of partnerships, it´s impossible to feel anything for any of them. Harry and Esther are a sweet old interracial couple who undoubtedly has more important things to relate to the new generation than love advice. How about the struggles they went through because of their love and race? The ham-fisted story of their dead son is never used to its fullest nor does it shed light on how these two people relate to one another. It´s minor set dressing to give them a backstory and nothing more.

None of the characters have much in the way of motivation for what they do. Kathryn decides to leave Bradley in the first ten minutes of the film. It is, perhaps, a minor consolation the script is packed with clues within those ten minutes about their relationship and Bradley´s general ignorance of the situation. Selma Blair, as Kathryn, gets next to nothing to do, despite having the juiciest role in the entire story as a woman learning about herself.

I´m honestly ambivalent toward "Feast of Love." It wants to be an indie romance, something to bring to the festival circuit and have people fawn over. The problem is there isn´t anything here to fawn over. The cast is serviceable enough going through the motions of the script. But it doesn´t make any sense, even the terribly anti-climactic climax after a college football game. (Seriously, how many colleges are that rocking after one simple win?)

"Feast of Love," despite sporting a cast who tries to do everything it can to keep the movie afloat, wallows entirely too much for its own good. Showing near-graphic sex acts doesn´t make a film edgy or indie; it makes it desperate. Having characters the audience despises because they´re liars and cheaters doesn´t help, either. Maybe a 5 out of 10 is too much for this movie.

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