...a shoddily made bore consisting of worn-out clichés and one-dimensional characters.
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I am a huge fan of Westerns. I can´t remember when my love affair with the genre began and I don´t recall what the first Western I ever saw was. I´m pretty sure it had John Wayne in it. I know "Rio Bravo" was one of my favorites growing up and it still is. However, it wasn´t until later that I became a loyal follower of the grittier, less clean-cut Westerns of Clint Eastwood, Sam Peckinpah and Sergio Leone. I´m absolutely ecstatic that the genre has made somewhat of a comeback in recent years. The remake of "3:10 to Yuma" was one of my choices for best film of 2007. I also enjoyed "The Proposition," "Seraphim Falls" and "Open Range." Now, we come to "Aces ´N Eights," a low-budget affair that makes the Will Smith box-office bomb, "The Wild Wild West" look like "The Wild Bunch."
"Aces ´N Eights" takes its title from the Dead Man´s Hand which, according to legend, was the hand that Wild Bill Hickock drew when he was shot in the back. The film is packed with just about every stereotypical archetype of the Western genre. The lead protagonist is the square-jawed Casper Van Dien as Luke Rivers, a former gunman who has hung up his revolvers for a more peaceful life. In time-honored, Western tradition, his old life comes back with a vengeance. The film begins with Luke and his posse, led by the ruthless Tate (Jeff Kober), as they gun down an entire family. Only Luke and his friend, the unfortunately named, D.C. Cracker (Bruce Boxleitner) are bothered by any pangs of consciousness. Refusing to kill a young boy, Luke lets him go and rides off, never looking back. Flash forward a few years and we find Luke has made a new life working the land for an elderly curmudgeon named Thurmond Prescott, who is played by professional curmudgeon Ernest Borgnine. Prescott also employs two other ranch hands, Noah (Jake Thomas) who fulfills the duties of the young lad itching to become a gunfighter just like his idol Luke, and Monty (Rodney Scott) who seems to fulfill no other duties than to be an extra good guy for the bad guy to kill. Of course, what would a Western be without the local schoolmarm who deplores violence and pines for our hero? We have one here in the red-headed Jo Tanner (Dierdre Quinn).
Prescott has lived on his land, outside the small town of Nogales, for thirty years. Progress is coming in the form of the railroad. Mr. Howard (William Atherton), a railroad executive, has decided to take matters in his own hand to rid the town of anybody who stands in the way of construction. Howard has employed Tate and his gang to murder anybody who refuses the paltry buyout he offers them. However, Howard´s plans get a monkey wrench thrown in when Mr. Riley (Jack Noseworthy), a lawyer from the Chicago office, is sent in to see what the holdup is. Howard is fairly certain the home office wouldn´t approve of his policy of torture and murder, so he must lay low for the time being. Soon, Luke decides to leave town rather than be forced to pick up his guns again, while Prescott realizes he doesn´t want anyone else getting hurt. Just as they´re about to call it quits, they have a run-in with Tate that leaves Prescott dead. Knowing he can´t escape his past, Luke, with Cracker now on his side, must circle the wagons for the final showdown.
I believe I´ll take a cue from the great Sergio Leone by breaking "Aces ´N Eights" down into the good, the bad, and the ugly. The good? Well, not all the acting is bland or terrible. Borgnine is pretty good for what little screen time he has. It´s too bad the filmmakers weren´t able to give him better material to work with. William Atherton once again sinks into the role of smarmy, arrogant villain. If you remember him from his roles in "Die Hard" and "Ghostbusters," you know what you´re getting. Atherton can pull off these roles in his sleep. Boxleitner, the former commander of "Babylon 5," is decent enough as the world-weary, drunken gun hand, but he´s another one who could have used some better material and a new name for his character. D.C. Cracker? Really, guys?
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